Executive Dining Etiquette

Interviewing over a meal is commonplace in many industries revealing the level of social competence of a potential job candidate. Whether you are dining with a client, networking in the business community or attending a conference or meeting, the food is secondary and the interaction is the focal point. Croft M. Pentz, the author of 1001 Things Your Mother Told You says, “You can see how important manners are by watching people who don’t have any.” But then again he also says, “The test of good manners is being able to put up pleasantly with bad ones.”

Napkin Know How: Do I blot or dab?

History reveals the napkin at one time was the size of a bath towel prior to the introduction of eating utensils and was also utilized to take home any leftover food. It is best to blot or dab the mouth lightly when needed as an alternative to a sweeping wipe across the mouth. When the host picks up their napkin you may pick up yours and unfold it on your lap with the fold facing your waistline. In the absence of a host, wait until two or three others have taken their seat to pick up your napkin. It is not appropriate to tuck the napkin in your collar or belt. Place the napkin on the chair when leaving the table momentarily indicating your return to the meal. At the conclusion of the meal loosely rest the napkin to the left side of the place setting at the initiation of the host.

Styles of Eating: Do I hold my fork in the right or left hand?

Regardless whether you are eating in the American or Continental style you begin cutting your first bite with the fork in the left hand and knife in the right, handles tucked in the palm of your hands, tines facing down using your index fingers extended atop each utensil as leverage. In the proper American style proceed by laying the knife at the upper right corner edge of the plate with the blade aiming toward the center and then rotate the left wrist outward and switch the fork to the right hand, holding it similar to a pencil and raise the food to your mouth.

The Continental style, the most universally accepted style of eating includes raising the food to your mouth with the fork in the left hand tines down eliminating the step of switching hands as in the American style. The knife remains in the right hand during the duration of the meal and is utilized more in the eating process. Whatever style you prefer just be sure not to hold your fork as though you were shoveling dirt or as one anonymous writer advises, “It is coarse and ungraceful to throw food into the mouth as you would toss hay into the barn with a pitchfork.”

When you need to sip your beverage or pause from eating for a moment the American style dictates the knife is placed at the upper right corner edge of the plate with the blade aiming toward the center and the fork is placed in a skewed position to the right. Visualizing the face of a clock, the handle should be resting at the four and the tines facing up pointing towards the ten or as it is traditionally referred to as the 10:20 position. In the Continental style the knife and fork cross at the center of the plate, knife on the right, blade directed downward with the fork tines facing down across the blade of the knife.

When you have concluded eating in the American style the fork and knife are placed in the 10:20 position with the fork below the knife and tines facing up. The finished position for the Continental style is similar to the American style with the exception of the tines of the fork facing down. Whatever style you prefer consistency is the key.
If soup is on the menu, be sure to handle the spoon similar to holding a pencil and spoon away from yourself towards the outer edge of the bowl where the soup has cooled enough to eat. A word of wisdom quoted from George Washington’s book, Rules of Civility & Decent Behaviour, “…blow not your broth at the table but stay till it cools of itself.”