EXECUTIVE DINING ETIQUETTE: Dining Dilemmas

In the global marketplace of this century your people skills are as vital to your career as your industry expertise. Like a pair of favorite shoes we could all use some professional polishing up from time to time. Arming yourself with the simple rules of proper dining etiquette will protect you from unexpected embarrassing moments that could cost you credibility. Vince Lombardi, the late great football coach of the Green Bay Packers once said. “Confidence increases in direct proportion to preparation.” Common sense, courtesy and applying these etiquette guidelines are ingredients for a powerful confident presence to feast flawlessly up the corporate ladder of success.


Dining Dilemmas: Oops, I dropped my fork on the floor?

We have all found ourselves unexpectedly in dining dilemma desperation, an awkward or amusing moment when we would have actually preferred to crawl under the table than remain in our chairs. I would like to present a few tips to navigate through some of these common quandaries.

· Dropped silverware should remain on the floor but quietly alert the wait staff immediately.

· Always sample everything that is served unless you have a food allergy and then a simple “No thank you” is all that is necessary.

· Remove foreign matter from your mouth with your thumb and index fingers and place it on the edge of your plate.

· Point out to the wait staff in a gracious manner any strange objects in your food or on your plate.

· If a cough or sneeze comes on unexpected, turn your face towards your shoulder and cover your mouth with your napkin.

· If food is caught between your teeth, do not use a toothpick or pick with your fingers at the table but excuse yourself and remove it privately.

· Remove spoiled food from your mouth by covering your mouth with one hand and remove the food with the other.

· If you have taken a bite of food that is too hot in temperature quickly cool it down with your beverage.


Eating Various Foods: Can I eat my French fries with my fingers?

· You can eat your French fries with your fingers only at McDonald’s or other fast food restaurant. It is best to use your fork in most casual restaurants and certainly in a fine dining atmosphere.

· Break off a bite size piece of bread at one time over the bread plate to avoid distributing crumbs around the table.

· Finger foods are prepared to be eaten with your fingers, but be sure to have a napkin readily available.

· Chicken is eaten with the fingers only at a barbecue or family picnic.

· Use a fork to twirl a few strands of pasta at a time.

· Be sure to taste your food before salting to avoid excessive seasoning.

· Shrimp cocktail served with the tails may be eaten with the fingers.

· The petals of a whole artichoke are eaten with the fingers and the heart with a knife and fork.

EXECUTIVE DINING ETIQUETTE: When can I begin eating?

Manners at the table, like all proper behavior must be an attitude of the heart that genuinely desires to convey the utmost respect and consideration to those around us in both a personal or professional environment. Like George Washington wrote at the age of fourteen in his book Rules of Civility and Decent Behavior, “Every action done in company ought to be with some sign of respect to those that are present.” Paul the apostle wrote, “Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should not only look to your own interests but to the interests of others.” The traits of humility and a high regard for others communicate self-restraint and strength of character, positive qualities of a winning professional.

Behavior at the Table: When can I begin eating?

It is appropriate to commence eating when the host begins. In the event you are seated at a banquet table, wait for two or three persons to be served so as not to allow the food to cool down or pause and allow all to be served at a smaller table of diners. Regardless of how ravenous you may be maintaining your composure at the table reflects a positive professional image.

Even in a business dining setting an upright body position at the table communicates self-assurance and authority. The elbows are to be kept close to the body while eating and definitely resist the urge to place them on the table except between courses or after the meal. The wrists may rest at the table’s edge, one in the American style with the other hand on the lap and two wrists in the Continental style.

Be aware of unconscious habits such as talking with the utensils, touching the hair or face and fidgeting with the hands and feet. Avoid discussions about health, diet, and controversial issues during a meal. It is fitting to perform nose blowing in the nearest lavatory and it is unfitting for a man to drape his tie on his shoulder and for a woman to reapply lipstick at the table. You do not want to be the first or last to finish your meal and consume your food in small bites to easily converse with the other diners.

In his book 1001 Things Your Mother Told You Croft M. Pentz quotes, “It’s bad manners to talk when your mouth is full and your head is empty.”

The Finger Bowl: Is this dessert?

A celebrity co-host of a well known talk show was invited to a White House dinner honoring the Queen of England. She was asked by a fellow diner, “What’s for dessert?” and in a moment of naivete, she looked at the bowl in front of her that was filled with water and had the fragrance of roses and responded, “This is it.” Fortunately, the woman noticed another guest, former Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice, cleansing her fingers in the bowl, and realized this was actually not dessert.

The finger bowl was commonly used in an age prior to the introduction of eating utensils. It is a rare occasion that the finger bowl appears today and it is typically in a formal dining environment. Regardless of the dining situation knowledge is power and knowing the proper use of the finger bowl may perhaps preserve you from an awkward moment that reveals a lack of sophistication.

The finger bowl may arrive atop the dessert plate accompanied by the dessert fork and spoon. In this case, place the fork and spoon on the table and lift both the finger bowl and doily together with both hands and place it to the upper left of the plate. When dessert is finished and the plate is removed lift the finger bowl and doily with both hands and place in front of you. Proceed to immerse the finger tips of one hand drying them with the napkin resting on your lap and then repeat with the opposite hand. The finger bowl may also be presented after the dessert course is completed and removed.