EXECUTIVE DINING ETIQUETTE: When can I begin eating?

Manners at the table, like all proper behavior must be an attitude of the heart that genuinely desires to convey the utmost respect and consideration to those around us in both a personal or professional environment. Like George Washington wrote at the age of fourteen in his book Rules of Civility and Decent Behavior, “Every action done in company ought to be with some sign of respect to those that are present.” Paul the apostle wrote, “Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should not only look to your own interests but to the interests of others.” The traits of humility and a high regard for others communicate self-restraint and strength of character, positive qualities of a winning professional.

Behavior at the Table: When can I begin eating?

It is appropriate to commence eating when the host begins. In the event you are seated at a banquet table, wait for two or three persons to be served so as not to allow the food to cool down or pause and allow all to be served at a smaller table of diners. Regardless of how ravenous you may be maintaining your composure at the table reflects a positive professional image.

Even in a business dining setting an upright body position at the table communicates self-assurance and authority. The elbows are to be kept close to the body while eating and definitely resist the urge to place them on the table except between courses or after the meal. The wrists may rest at the table’s edge, one in the American style with the other hand on the lap and two wrists in the Continental style.

Be aware of unconscious habits such as talking with the utensils, touching the hair or face and fidgeting with the hands and feet. Avoid discussions about health, diet, and controversial issues during a meal. It is fitting to perform nose blowing in the nearest lavatory and it is unfitting for a man to drape his tie on his shoulder and for a woman to reapply lipstick at the table. You do not want to be the first or last to finish your meal and consume your food in small bites to easily converse with the other diners.

In his book 1001 Things Your Mother Told You Croft M. Pentz quotes, “It’s bad manners to talk when your mouth is full and your head is empty.”

The Finger Bowl: Is this dessert?

A celebrity co-host of a well known talk show was invited to a White House dinner honoring the Queen of England. She was asked by a fellow diner, “What’s for dessert?” and in a moment of naivete, she looked at the bowl in front of her that was filled with water and had the fragrance of roses and responded, “This is it.” Fortunately, the woman noticed another guest, former Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice, cleansing her fingers in the bowl, and realized this was actually not dessert.

The finger bowl was commonly used in an age prior to the introduction of eating utensils. It is a rare occasion that the finger bowl appears today and it is typically in a formal dining environment. Regardless of the dining situation knowledge is power and knowing the proper use of the finger bowl may perhaps preserve you from an awkward moment that reveals a lack of sophistication.

The finger bowl may arrive atop the dessert plate accompanied by the dessert fork and spoon. In this case, place the fork and spoon on the table and lift both the finger bowl and doily together with both hands and place it to the upper left of the plate. When dessert is finished and the plate is removed lift the finger bowl and doily with both hands and place in front of you. Proceed to immerse the finger tips of one hand drying them with the napkin resting on your lap and then repeat with the opposite hand. The finger bowl may also be presented after the dessert course is completed and removed.